


i think we're alright

by Silver_Shadows



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Zombie Apocalypse, Alternate Universe - Zombies, M/M, big gay apocalyptic losers, i fucked up and the world is over, i fucked up chapter on on 2/3/16 and fixed it on the 9th, no actual smut bc i am a small child, ray is a walking meme, so if ur wondering why a comment seems out of place, thats because it is
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-12-23
Updated: 2016-02-09
Packaged: 2018-04-23 01:30:38
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,179
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4858067
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silver_Shadows/pseuds/Silver_Shadows
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gavin wasn't used to being alone. Until he was. Until he wasn't.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this may be the gayest thing i have ever written. and it's all for you guys.

In the beginning, Gavin is alone. He’s never liked being alone much because he thinks a lot, which is good until he thinks too much, effectively trapping himself inside his head. He can hardly believe it, even though he sees it everyday now. Zombies were always a fairytale, a scary story, a “would you rather”. But now they’re here, and he’s alone.

He’s always been talkative, always had a lot to say. His thought often go straight from his head to his mouth, no filter, just pure word creation goodness. He’s always thought it was cool that words were just sounds, but somehow they held so much power. But Gavin's alone, and there’s no one to talk to, no one to listen to him when he needs to vent. And there’s a lot to vent about, nowadays. 

Gavin’s walking downtown in a city he doesn’t know the name of. He was lucky to find a nice backpack, the kind for mountain climbing that holds a bunch of stuff. He’s picked up supplies, here and there; a can of soup, a pack of bandaids, a cool rock he saw lying on the ground, a shirt or two, stuff like that. Going by his watch(what will happen when it breaks? will time just stop existing for him?he hopes not), it’s 2pm on the dot. Gavin is hot. Like, really hot, the kind like  _ my-sweat-is-sweating _ type hot. At some point, he sees a faded sign for a nearby YMCA. Now logically, he knows that the water is probably gross by now, or evaporated or something, but all he can think about is the blissfully cool feeling of a nice swim. Or at least getting out of the heat for a little while. He doesn’t have anywhere particular in mind that he wants to go, so he goes there.

He shows up at the building, not sure what he’s expecting. He tests the door, and much to his surprise, it’s unlocked. He heads in cautiously, stealth mode, looking and listening around him for any signs of the dead or alive, but all he sees is  _ dead  _ dead, and all he hears is nothing. Gavin walks out into an open area, and for half a second wonders if he missed the pool, but no. He’s in the right room, and there’s an empty cavity where the water was. His heart doesn’t even have time to sink before he hears footsteps echoing off the walls.

By this point, Gavin has figured out how to whirl around quickly and pull his knife out from the strap on his thigh in the same quick motion. His heart is pounding, and he’s frantically looking around himself for any signs of movement, he was too loud,  _ shit _ , he wasn’t on his guard enough, he got careless.

“Whoa man, chill! I’m not gonna hurt you!”

There’s a guy in the doorway to his right. He looks to be around Gavin’s age; tiny, but not malnourished, wary, but not threatening. Gavin gives him a very cautious once-over, and what he hopes is a stern, yet also non-threatening look, and slowly lowers his knife.

Then he looks at this guy, really looks at him. His first thought, albeit embarrassing, is that he’s actually pretty cute. In a grim, post-apocalyptic sort of way. He’s got a somewhat normal face, but there’s something about him that’s sweet and he has pretty brown eyes that sparkle and  _ wow  _ Gavin is homosexual.

“You got a gun?”

The guy startles for a second, then shakes his head. “Nope. Better with a knife. You?”

“same.”

There’s a beat of silence, and then-”Well hey there! I’m Gavin, ‘ow bout you?”

The guy bursts out laughing. “Oh my god. You’re British.”

Gavin is confused. “Yeah?”

Wow, his accent must be fucking hilarious because this guy can not stop laughing. It’s odd, but also nice. Gavin hasn’t heard someone else laugh in a while.

“You sound ridiculous!”

Now Gavin is plain offended. “Oi! That’s a lil rude, don’t you think?”

The guy does his best to put on a more somber expression. “Sorry, sorry. I’m Ray.” Gavin takes this into consideration, and holds hand out for a handshake, which Ray accepts sarcastically. “Moi bad, didn’ know I was ‘avin tea wif the Queen today! Oi!”

“Fuck off.” 

They stand in silence for a minute, sizing each other up, each waiting for the other to offer.  _ Well someone’s gotta say it _ , Gavin thinks. 

“So you uh, wanna team up?”

Ray grins. “Yeah, what the hell. Why not.”

So they do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i reposted chapter 1 on 2/9/16. im a giant fucking moron who accidentally deleted the first chapter like a week ago, thank you for your time


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> friends are made. nice

With Ray, Gavin is a different person. He has someone to talk to, and although there's not much judgement these days, he still feels a bit odd talking to himself.

Not to mention, he likes Ray.

Ray is quiet where Gavin is loud, and witty where Gavin draws a blank. He's sarcastic and cynical and downright hilarious and Gavin can feel himself liking Ray more and more as time passes. Gavin is quite aware that this is a dumb decision, thank you very much. He's seen his fair share of people turning on each other and getting power hungry or just plain scared. He's seen someone kill another human being over a gallon of gas. Everything about Ray screams, _I'm trustworthy but I don't trust anyone,_ and Gavin's not stupid. He figures Ray has seen as much shit as the next guy caught up in an old fashioned zombie apocalypse, and Gavin knows everyone handles things differently. So he doesn't pry and neither does Ray, and everything is simple; easy.

They get to know each other, slowly but surely.

This is mainly because Ray is generally closed off and Gavin is too much of a people pleaser to bother him about it. But sometimes, Ray makes offhand comments about a girl he used to date, about the pet goldfish he had in 5th grade, about a cat he accidentally adopted. Not only are these comments offhand, but Ray makes them at possibly the worst times. Gavin goes on a food run, comes back covered in blood, and Ray mentions that his ex-girlfriend was allergic to almonds. Once, on a trip back to their apartment, they get attacked by a horde. Gavin has to concentrate really hard on keeping himself alive( _Ray's fine you idiot focus on yourself_ ). He's stabbing through eyeballs left and right, you know, the usual, when he hears Ray laugh.

"What're," he gasps,"What're you on about?"

"Nothin', just, one of them was wearing a necklace."

Gavin doesn't get the joke."Okay, and?"

"That's the exact same necklace I made for my ex boyfriend."

Gavin has to take a minute to understand what was just said. Somewhere in his head, there's a chorus of _hallelujah, he's not straight, hallelujah,_ and then it really hits him and he feels strangely hollow. The moment passes and Ray is pulling his knife out of the skull of the aforementioned zombie, and it drops to the ground. They're both panting heavily, and they take a minute to breathe, safe for now.

He looks over at Ray, who is determinedly avoiding his eyes. Ray clearly doesn't want to talk about it, so Gavin figures he should probably keep his mouth shut. To his surprise, Ray interrupts the silence. His tone is joking but his voice is tight.

"So you're not, like, homophobic or anything, right? 'Cause I'm bi, and if you're gonna be an asshole, I'm not gonna share my toys with you anymore." 

Gavin laughs quickly. "Oh, no, I'm not. I mean, I'm bi as well, so, yeah."

Ray's face light's up. "Shit, really?!" Glad to hear another big fucking homo like myself is making it!"

"Ah Ray, always so sweet and sensitive." Gavin wonders if Ray is okay, so he asks, "You alright?"

Ray's face is entirely impassive as he nods. By this point, Gavin likes to think he knows Ray well enough to be able to tell what he's thinking, but right now, Gavin isn't sure. Gavin has always been sensitive to other people's emotions, and right now, his chest feels tight. He can't imagine how Ray might feel. Gavin steps forward and puts a hand on Ray's shoulder; looks into his eyes. Ray looks back at him, eyes wide, and Gavin tilts his head( _okay?_ ) and Ray nods again, but there's something smaller in it, more defeated. Gavin's breath hitches and he steps forward and it's the first time he's hugged Ray. Ray stands still for a moment, and then drops his bag and his knife to the ground as he clings back to Gavin. Gavin feels Ray digging into the back of his shirt, and all he can think is, _shit I really don't wanna lose him_.

 ---

Ray gets to know Gavin.

They've been together for what feels like a few months now, and Gavin isn't the most secretive type. Gavin has always known he's a bit of an open book. Ray learns that Gavin's favorite color is red, and when pressured, Ray tells him that his favorite color is purple( _shut the fuck up favorite colors are for children and people not involved in the literal end of the world_ ). Gavin learns that Ray thinks that Wales in a British aquarium( _how the fuck would I know I've never been there_ ). Ray learns that Gavin will eat almost anything on a dare( _YOU DON'T FEED A GUY A SPONGE, RAY_ ). Gavin gets to know Ray, shares himself with Ray. And they're friends.

Sort of.

Because Gavin is still bi, still has eyes in his head, and Ray is still really effing cute. And maybe he's seeing things that aren't there, but Gavin swears that he catches Ray looking at him just like how Gavin looks at Ray. Several times. At some point, they find a gun, and Ray teaches Gavin how to shoot it, shitty rom-com style. There are four hands wrapped around the gun, and in a moment of ingenuity, Gavin makes a joke about it. Ray laughs along with him, but steps away. Another time, they find an unopened bottle of whiskey in someone's cellar. Gavin offers some to Ray, who declines( _what'd you do for fun then? copious amounts of weed_ ). Gavin wants to forget everything he's seen that week: a dead couple, hands entwined, gun between them; a car they found that was playing the tinniest classical music Gavin had ever heard; an undead baby. So Gavin drinks, drinks to forget, and at some point in his drunken haze, he sees Ray smiling a funny little sad smile at him. Gavin reaches up to touch his face, _no Ray it's okay I'm here_ , but he can't move his arms, so he falls asleep instead.

 

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> *chanting* GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY GAY

Gavin is beyond screwed and he knows it. He's got an embarrassingly huge crush on Ray and he has no idea how it's not obvious.

They're scavenging their latest town and find a surprisingly (nearly)untouched hat store. Ray finds a ridiculous looking sombrero and is keeping up an impressive stream of jokes about how he's Puerto Rican and please don't let him get deported-

And Gavin is beaming, he's glowing. he can't remember the last time he saw Ray this happy, anyone this happy, and the moment is so peaceful it's almost surreal. Standing there, in the store, a sunbeam shines through the front window and washes over Ray's face, and there's color and light and contentment and a billion other feelings surging through Gavin that he thought were long gone. Ray is laughing and checking himself out in the store mirror and it's so disgustingly domestic that Gavin misses something intensely, something he's never had, and it feels like déjà vu.

He is, without a doubt, completely whipped and utterly fucked. 

One night, Gavin tells Ray that there's a blue moon, which leads to name calling on Ray's end( _"fuckin' nerd"_ ) and insistent arguing on Gavin's end( _"Ray the moon is not actually blue it's just a phra-" "THEN WHY DO THEY CALL IT THAT ASSHOLE"_ ), and Gavin's always been one of those _look at the moon!_ people, so they do. They climb the fire escape to the top of the apartment building they've been staying in, and they make a little blanket fort, there on the roof.

On a scale of 1-10 of gay feelings that are also completely inappropriate because they are also probably definitely unreciprocated, Gavin is a 12. Ray has closed his eyes and tilted his face up towards the stars, bathed in moonlight. It's a little cold and Ray had insisted that they cuddle, causing Gavin to blush like a fucking 13 year old( _it's for warmth, okay Gav, it's SCIENCE, we could probably freeze and maybe die, c'mon bro this is what bros are for"_ ). Gavin downs a fifth of whiskey before they head up and hopes for the best.

They ended up lying on their backs, Gavin stretched out like a starfish and Ray curled into his side, and Gavin's got a constant mantra of _do not fuck this up don't make it gay do NOT FUCK THIS UP_ running through his head, but he can't help himself. Gavin lightly pushes his fingers through Ray's hair with the arm curled around Ray's back, and Ray makes a small noise, curling in even closer and holy SHIT holy shit holy _fuck oh my god_. Gavin has lost track of time, he doesn't know how long he's been staring at Ray, but it feels like a million years later when Ray opens his eyes, blinking, and Gavin can't bring himself to look away. Ray is looking at him with a small smile, so different then the smirk Ray's usually got, and Gavin's brain is going a mile a minute. It must show on his face because Ray laughs softly, shaking his head, and says something like, "You're an idiot", and then Ray's lips are on Gavin's.

It's soft and it's sweet and warm and perfect, and it's everything Gavin has ever wanted, and Ray feels so good and suddenly he pulls away, and Gavin realizes he hasn't been breathing. Ray giggles, fucking giggles, and Gavin feels like the tablecloth has been jerked out from underneath him( _it's magic!_ ); he is floating and he can't remember his own fucking name, and the whiskey he drank earlier is definitely not helping. The rest of the night is a blur of kisses and hands in his hair and lips that have attached themselves to his neck and even more whiskey(listen okay Gavin has never claimed to be a good decision maker). When Gavin wakes up the next morning, it's to Ray gently tracing patterns on his back and Gavin's whole body is filled with warmth from head to toe and he flips Ray over, and they spend a very productive morning making out and pretending that this is a normal world in which there are no dead people walking and everything is fine.

And for once, it works.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> get ready for the Big Time Feels


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is not a new chapter i just fucked up and deleted chapter one, welcome to the world of abby in which its just one mistake snowball effecting on top of another

"Fuck, SHIT GODDAMMIT fucking shit, c'mon Gav grab the stuff we gotta _go_ , we gotta go NOW!"

The supply run they were on had suddenly turned south when an entire horde showed up and they had to get out of here, fast. They run, breathless, taking shortcuts in alleys and scaling walls and obstacles until they make it back to their hideout. There's blood on Ray's leg and Gavin is terrified, more than he's ever been.

"Fuck, are you-did they-" He can't say it, can't choke the words out.

"Gavin, it's fine, I'm fine, I just cut it on some glass, maybe sprained it." Ray's tone is soothing, but the words lose their effect when he speaks them through gritted teeth.

"I gotta- I'm gonna-"

"Gav, look at me."

He does.

"You're gonna be fine, okay? You'll be alright. I love you." It's the first time Ray's said it, the big L word, but Gavin can't focus on it because what Ray just said sounds way too much like a goodbye. This pisses Gavin off a little, immediately putting him on the defensive.

"You shut the hell up Ray, I'm going to the pharmacy up the road and getting some pain meds and a brace or something, and I'll be back in less than an hour. Quit being a fucking baby."

Ray gives him a tiny sad smile, which makes Gavin's heart clench up in terror, and he actively ignores it.

"What the shit, Ray it's a sprain, right? Yeah, alright, you're fine, I'll be back soon." Gavin's voice softens.

"Fuck, sorry, I- I love you too." He drops to the floor where Ray is laying and presses a gentle kiss to Ray's forehead. He watches Ray's eyes flutter shut briefly, and for a moment, it's peaceful.

Gavin grins dopily. "See you in a bit, love."

\---

This has got to be the shittiest supplies run that Gavin has ever been on, including earlier today. He's been attacked twice, skinned both his knees, and he's pretty sure that his elbow shouldn't bend like that. But he did it! He's got the meds and the knee brace, which is for Ray, who he _loves_ , and who _loves him back_ , and Gavin is blissfully happy, despite the aching in his bones.

Gavin can't remember the last time he was this happy, truly happy, and he can't get back to Ray fast enough. When he returns, backpack full of supplies, head full of sappy romantic shit that he knows, _knows_ , Ray would hate but love at the same time.

"Ray?"

Gavin keeps his voice to a whisper, in case Ray is sleeping. He pushes the door to their room open.

"Ray, I'm back, I got the stuff."

Gavin's babbling nervously; for some reason, he feels strangely unsettled.

"Ray, I'm back, where are y-"

Gavin stops short, blinks.

Steps forward. Blinks again.

Ray is laying on the floor. Ray is on the floor and he isn't moving. Gavin drops to the floor, as if in a dream.

Ray's face is pale, so so pale, and his eyes are staring up at the ceiling, not seeing, nothing.

Gavin can not breathe.

There's a bite on Ray's arm that he must have hidden and a note crumpled in his fist that reads:

"so i got bitten. i didn't really know how to tell you, im so sorry, gavin. you meant the world to me, you really did, and you changed my life. you made me see the world differently, in a more hopeful way than i thought i ever could, and i hope i helped you, too. you'll be fine, okay? you will. you're tough. gavin, stay strong, for me. i love you so much. never forget that.-ray"

Gavin screams.

He screams loud enough to kill the dead.

He screams until his ears ring and his own voice is white noise.

He drags himself onto their bed, the one they slept together in, so many times, and memories are flashing by now, suffocating him.

 

 

In the end, Gavin is alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im so sorry. actually, im not. wait, im sorry to everyone that ISNT MIRANDA, who caused me immeasurable pain when she wrote ride the wave( a great fic go read it, shoutout) so miranda if you're reading this you can EAT MY ASS BECAUSE PAYBACK
> 
> update: miranda please quit making fun of me for deleting the first chapter okay everyone makes mistakes everyone has those days(etc)


End file.
